I Know

I know that what I am going through at this moment of writing has reasons and lessons for me to become strong.

I am trying to direct myself to the possibility that these are purely tests from heaven. A test that would make sure that I can face tomorrow with the right attitude. Hopefully, these things would end.

Last May 23, 2011 (Monday) at exactly 3:30pm, I was bitten by our dog. I gave him food to eat and he accidentally, bit my finger. It bled. Blood was all over the ground and I was shocked. By that moment, all I did was to get hold of something that could stop the bleeding. My father automatically hand me a soap for me to wash the fresh wound and shouted that I should be preparing for us to leave the house.

Yes, it was serious wound. At that time, my father hurriedly took me to the nearest animal bite health center for them to inject me with anti-rabies. The wound is quite big thus, the health center doctor automatically referred me to a hospital to undergo surgery.

When I was in the Emergency room waiting for my surgery, I prayed. I told myself, this might be the ultimate challenge that I would face. Yes, I am afraid. I just can't stand blood, how much more SURGERY? So, I prayed.

Thanks to the Lord (and 3 strikes of Anesthesia), all went well by 6:30pm. We checked out from the hospital with my finger covered by bandage. It was a bit painful by then and we bought the medicines that I needed to take.

Five days have passed and the wound had already dried. Hopefully, by next week, the stitches would be removed. Please pray for my fast recovery for this injury is quite affecting my work, specially that I am currently working online.

I'll keep you posted on my recovery, for now, there were no complications that happened and all is getting well.

What Have I Done To Suffer Like This?

As you may have known, I already resigned from my call center job. It's been two months already. I thought I would be admitted to the school I dreamed to be with but I was wrong. Until now, there were no positive responses. Then, I applied to every school that I might be admitted at, but unfortunately, there wasn't any school that would hire someone like me.

Who am I to be disliked like this? Who are they to judge me by just knowing a glimpse of me? Where would our God intends to put me in this cruel world?

Yes, I am still unemployed despite of being a graduate of Ateneo de Davao University. I cried and prayed for my situation to change but until now, I have no luck with schools. I even applied to colleges because I was guessing that I might not be suitable for High School because of my gender preference. There was one school, which name I won't mention, told me that they will hire me back in April. But after that, there were no response. I even completed my requirements as their College President requires me to do, but the moment that I would like to speak to her, she was rather off-campus, on-leave or had to leave due to some circumstances. It was as if she doesn't want to be in contact with me. 

It was so shameful then that even the not-so-prestigious-schools don't want to hire me. Am I that incompetent for a teaching job? They don't know my capacities yet, but I was already judged.

Now that June is fast approaching, I am frightened that I am really doomed to be a bum for almost a year again. As a way to held my pride, I intended to push through graduate school. Yes, it would be another studying and money-investing years for me and for my parents, but I have no choice.They won't hire me.

Just when I'm determined to teach, nobody wants to accept me. :(

On the other hand, I was not that doomed for I do have jobs online. Well, I won't consider this a job because I am earning below the minimum here in Davao City, Philippines when dollar converted to peso. It's via oDesk.com. It is a website that helping contractors like me find jobs that are offered by the providers in the different countries which are mostly from the US.

I was earning not that much yet, but I am determined (no choice) to give this my best shot because this is the only thing that I have. As a professional licensed teacher, it is so sudden to know that I have failed to become a full-pledge teacher. But I won't lose HOPE. Just like the Pandora's Box, everything may have happened but HOPE is always there for the rest of the humanity.

I hope you guys understood what I wanted to express. I just need to take this out from my system because it's already killing me inside. :(

Thank you for the sentiments, but I need a TEACHING JOB.

Self-Check

Lately, I have been in heightened emotions. I am very much eager to be at my best. I am struggling too much to be great and become successful that I have forgotten who I truly am.

Have you ever felt this? The very moment that you have transformed yourself to anybody else?

I don't know. But there were things that I did just to impress everyone. Who the hell cares? I am not liking myself anymore. I have grown to becoming a monster? Nah.. That's too much. I don't know really. But lately, I have been into something that most people do. I am addicted to something that does not justify my real being.

This is not me anymore. This not the sweet, innocent and rightful Carlo that I usually am. Why? Why the sudden change?

I know that I am the only person who can answer this. I am just making this post to be my outlet of what I am feeling inside. I may look happy, but I'll tell you, I am not.

I am not anymore. (No, I am not suicidal.)

I am not happy with what's going on. I need a break. Hopefully, our family reunion (which will be located somewhere in Davao Oriental) will help me see what I am seeking.

Keep safe everyone. Until next post.

I RESIGNED!

For almost nine months of staying in GCES, I resigned. I bid goodbye to all the issues that I have faced with the company. Yes, it was exactly MARCH 14, 2011 as stated on my resignation letter. Though I miss everyone, the environment is not healthy for me anymore.

Now, the very moment I wrote this post, I am working with an Indian company as Data Encoder. It's home-based and fair enough salary for a part-time work. Hopefully, by May I will be doing office works. I am planning to have my Masteral Degree by June and hopefully these plans will be pursued.

Lord, guide me and everyone else that are dear to me. Lead them to where YOU want them to be. I love you Lord and continue to shower YOUR blessings upon ME.

Thank you!

The End is Near

For a few months now I have been considering goodbyes, resignation and all that stuff. I didn't think that it would become a reality to some of my workmates. But just this morning, one of my best friends, told me that she will be passing a resignation letter later today. I never thought that she is really that serious until now. Nevertheless, I already told my father about my plans on resigning. I told him that if most of my closest friends would go, then I would also go. Being in that company is not that healthy anymore. Local TV raid scandal and other stuff concerning salary delays and non-remittance of benefits.

Before I go, I want to bid goodbyes to everyone who have been a part of me in that company - - especially to PATRICK, who never fails to make me smile when he's around. This is not an end but a NEW BEGINNING. A new chapter has been opened and a new challenge to face.

Thank you for everything guys. I will surely miss y'all. Hope to see you again someday.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Two things I would like to accomplish this year:

SUCCESSFUL CAREER and

HEALTHY HEART (LOVELIFE).

Nice!! :)

I MADE IT!

It happened a week ago, 2 days after my birthday to be exact. An event occurred that somehow changed my perspective in life. Yes, I passed the LET (Licensure Examination for Teachers). Licensed na ako.

From that day on, I am inspired to pursue teaching. God really did everything HE could to lead me to where I should belong - TEACH, INSPIRE and TOUCH LIVES.

I am very thankful that I passed the LET. Although, one of my classmates did not pass. Gusto kong maiyak para sa kanya pero I chose not to. He doesn't need pity from us instead understanding and just being there for him.

Since I already passed the LET, my Call Center career might end soon enough. Abangan natin yan!

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Lahat ata inayos na ng Diyos, kailan nya kaya aayusin buhay pag-ibig ko? (LOL)

I already liked someone,

but I'm not expecting that 'this person' will like me in return.

In short, I will leave the rest to our Creator.

Ikaw na ang bahala Lord. I know you will give what is best for me. :)

Here is a screenshot photo of my name in the list of LET Passers: